1:59 p.m. - 2002-12-13
morality and office gossip
On Tuesday, Sarah who I sit next to at work told me she'd seen an email in our MD's mailbox (which she has full access to) in which it was clear he was applying for another job elsewhere. Naturally this is a bit worrying as we're in the process of a merger / acquisition and we felt he was jumping ship.
I mentioned this to Emma, who used to work here.
End of story.
But not. After work last night I got a text from Sarah asking me if I'd told anyone. Panicking, I rang Emma to check if she had told anyone. She said she hadn't. So, feeling confident that the information was "contained" as far as myself and Emma, I texted back that no, I hadn't, and asked why.
The next text I got said "Because the chairman knows and I only told you."
You know that horrible cold feeling? That sensation inside of "ohh fuccccccccck!"? Yeah that kicked in then.
I rang Sarah up, and I asked her what had happened. Our MD had collared her in the office and asked her who she'd told, as the chairman had named Sarah as the source of the leak. She admitted she'd told me. ( You see where this is going?)
What could I say? "Oh sorry, I lied before - I did tell Emma (who could have told someone else in the office)"? So no, I swore to her that I hadn't told anyone, that someone else must have found out and told the chairman.
I felt like such a piece of crap.
I rang Emma back and asked her, categorically if she'd told a soul. She swore to me that she hadn't. But of course, that's exactly what I'd said to Sarah.
I thought about going to Bob and telling him it wasn't Sarah's fault that the chairman had found out, because I hadn't told anyone, but then I started thinking "DID I tell anyone else?" and for the life of me, couldn't say for 100%. I just can't remember. I mean, I'm sure I didn't, but... not sure enough. Doubting yourself if one horrible feeling, especially if I've got someone in trouble. So I guess the blame will lie squarely at my feet as the one who's responsible for more people knowing. There's a whole lot of nothing I can do now though.
I do wonder though, if I was sure of myself, I would go to Bob, trusting Emma at her word that she'd told no-one else? Because what if he turned round and said "Well, it was so and so who told the chairman and he said he knew from Emma..."?
Oh this must be so boring to read, but I can't tell you how much I was stressing last night. And what did C say when I asked what he'd do? "I wouldn't have told anyone!".
Yeah, thanks.
So, answers in the guestbook please, what would you do if you were me?
