10:48 a.m. - 2003-04-22
fpeh and shuygerrtwwwwwwwa
I wish I'd given stuff up for Lent. I wish I'd stopped eating chocolate or properly stopped doing drugs or something...because due to not having stopped those things I have a bloated face and a belated come-down and am feeling rather blurgh. Last night I was so angry at nothing and sad and pissed off that all I could write in my paper diary were a couple of one line whinges and a line of mixed letters because there was no good sentence to say how I felt.
In the end the best thing to do was to just lie down, fall asleep with my book in my hands and fall into a dream where all the petty nuisances were gone.
And today I'm okay but I keep thinking the only good thing to look forward to is Glastonbury, because we've decided we are going to go and there's lots of good acts rumoured to be playing so that will be fun, despite the grubbiness and the stinky portaloos.
Other than that I'm wondering if it's bad manners to cancel my own party because I'm scared only a handful of people will come and it won't be the ker-azy mingling of strangers in the hallway and old friends in the bathroom I always like to think parties will be, but they never are. In a lot of ways, I think I'd be better off saying fuck it and sitting in the kitchen with Charlie and Anna, wearing my cat ears and getting drunk on disgusting cocktails. I don't think * ****** ** *** **** *****, but I know I will.
