11:58 a.m. - 2003-04-24
i rock. i'm the king of the world!!
I love pay day.. that feeling, although fleeting, of being in credit and unrestrained and unconfined.
Even when I subtract all the debts I have to pay off, the end figure is still quite nice. And it's been a while since things have been this way. I've always had so many debts and a salary that just covered them, my rent and a little bit left over. Now, I should be saving up a small fortune so we can go to Mehico in September. But somehow I just know that it won't happen -I'll end up putting it on the credit card and falling back into debt hell. Because I am stupid like that and it's just what I do.
But I still like me. I like that I am crap with money. I like that I am frivolous and buy shampoo just because it smells nice and not because I need it. I quite like that I've frittered away thousands of pounds on a whole heap of not much. I mean, I'm not Elton John, but I don't smoke and I don't drink that much and I hardly ever do drugs so what's a little spending folly? Everyone should have a vice or two.
Yeah you know what? The more I think about it, the more I like me today. I like me a whole heap more than I used to. I know I do shitty things that only a very few people know about. I know I'm not everything everyone wants me to be. Flawed is beautiful.
God this is very me, me, me... I should probably stop and go love myself somewhere else. :o)
