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16:44 - Sept. 30, 2003
counselling
bleh, 5pm already! I've had a short day here, only got in at 11.45 after seeing my new counsellor for the first time this morning. His name is Justin. I went for ages being alright and then he kept asking me something until I cried. Not in a mean way, just a weird "idontknowtheanswertothatquestionandohgodicanfeelalumpinmythroatandmyeyesarestartingtoleak" way. He pauses a lot like he expects me to say more so i either say something random loosely based on what i just said, or i look back at him until he looks down at his notes and asks me something else.

counselling makes me think of a happy bunny phrase - it's all about me. deal with it.

so tuesdays at 5 are the new black. or something like that. haven't told work yet. maybe i'll write my evil boss a memo. last night as we left the building together (SO unintentionally) he decided to tell me he doesn't like my hair as much as he did before. This coming from a man who is BALD. The day I want his opinion about my hair or anyone else's is the day I ... I don't know, it's just not going to happen. He makes me so sweary. I walk away mumbling curses about a wankysweatpit-jizzstain-bastard and generally full of rage.

I thought about telling Justin the url to this. It feels a bit easier than having to relive all the emotional stuff and crying in his office.

Me and G talked about how sometimes we think something and then wonder if we really meant it. Like, now I'm not sure if telling Justin the url would be easier, or if actually I might enjoy spending an hour talking about myself and crying once a week in the privacy of someone else's room.

Oh i don't know.

 

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