09:14 - Sept. 03, 2003
narcotics
Did i not say? No, i restrained myself from pilling. i am a good girl.
i thought it was going to be really tough, that i'd be miserable being straight while those around me twisted and their pupils dilated, but actually, no. i did drink a lot of Sol, but i actually savoured being in control and not having one of those brain trips or sleepless nights or comedowns.
those days have been and gone for me.
when i was about 13, i wrote in my diary that i wanted to experience everything. in my naivete i didn't even specify that i didn't want to do anything that would fuck me up, that i didn't want to experience pain or mental agony or anything negative. in a romantic, foolish way, i just wanted to try everything once. just to KNOW.
as if knowledge were everything.
i don't want to say i know better know. i don't. i've just learnt my lesson on drugs. there was a time and a place and this just isn't it anymore.
i'm a lot pickier now about the things i want to experience.
so, who wants a joint?
