6:50 p.m. - 2003-02-06
not quite what i had in mind...
I haven't written for ages and I can genuinely say that I just haven't had the time. Whenever I get a rare 5 minutes to myself at work, I usually need to go to the toilets to do some deep breathing and calm myself down... I'm under so much pressure at the moment I've got to the point where I feel that anything that goes wrong today is entirely my fault. Today I had a really nasty email from someone complaining about our style of rejection letters. Fuck off!
At least my efforts haven't gone unnoticed, as yesterday I was given a rather nice pay rise! Hurrah!
Dublin didn't happen. It seemed we'd picked the worst weekend in the history of travel to try to go, what with snow and Stansted Airport closing. Our flight was cancelled 2 and a half hours before it was due to go. It was cancelled after a whole day of ringing and asking if it was going to be cancelled and told "No, come up to Stansted as planned". It was cancelled after we got a cab to Liverpool Street station and queued for 20 minutes for train tickets. It was cancelled after we paid �46 for said train tickets. It was cancelled after I had a fight with a station attendant and told him to "Stop fucking shouting at me!". It was cancelled after we battled in vain to get on an already full train, and after we waited for another one and got on it.
I could have done with them cancelling it first thing in the morning really.
I cried on the platform at Liverpool Street Station, making wet patches on C's coat, while a Spanish woman ranted into her mobile "It's unbelievable! The trains are chaos and no one says anything! No one knows where any train is going or when, and no one complains! No one is shouting or going crazy!"
She's got a point. Why do we just miserably put up with this kind of shit and not have a riot? Outside the station the buses were chaos because the tube was closed due to overcrowding and I just wanted to throw my bags down and my arms up and say, I give up. Stop the game. You keep changing the rules and I've had enough. I want to go home.
But there wasn't anyone to say that to. So instead C and I had a quick stiff drink and eventually got a cab to Waterloo and a train to my mum and dad's. We spent the weekend there; we went to the cinema, bowling, out for meals, out for walks with the dog.. it was nice, just not quite what we had in mind to celebrate C's birthday and our 2 year anniversary.
Oh and my Hello Kitty tongue barbell arrived in the post! I was so excited.... then I went to put it in and it broke. So, yeah.... :o(
My flatsharing plans have changed again and it looks like I'm gonna get a flatshare on my own now. Again, not quite what I had in mind but it's fine, and at least it stops Frazer from Black Katz calling me every other minute. ;o)
I feel like I haven't seen my friends in AGES. As soon as all my little dramas are over, that's my "To do" list (yeah, I do have them out of work. I am SAD - it's official).
1) See my friends.
:o) Enough, I'm going home.
